I am constantly amazed to hear pundits, from both left and right as well as center, say what they think voters want to hear from a political candidate.  The liberals say we want to hear about more for the people, the conservatives say we wants to hear about less government and the centrists say we don’t want to hear about anything because we – and they - already know it all.

You can rest assured what I’d like to hear them say will never happen.  I would vote for any candidate who said no matter who is President it doesn’t have a thing to do with the economy, they don’t have a clue how to provide more jobs because it all depends on employers and without higher taxes or a miracle there isn’t a chance the budget will ever be balanced.

The constant barrage of statements spinning the actual facts about everything has convinced me that political consultants are completely out of touch with average Americans.  Do you ever get the feeling that they think by making the same comment over and over it will erase anything contradictory from our brain’s frontal lobes?

My idea of a perfect political campaign is to begin two weeks before the election.  Have the candidates make one five-minute speech about what they hope they can do.  Not what they have done or who they are.  We already know more about that than we want to.

It’s hard to understand why anyone would move heaven and earth to get to be in politics, especially President.  It isn’t a really good job.  You only can have it for four years. – a second term is not guaranteed.  You can only give it another try for a second four years if you are lucky and nothing happens in the world or in the United States that people can blame on you.  After that you’re out.

Of course, the fringe benefits are stupendous.  You do get room and board and travel in luxury.  You can go anywhere and meet anyone.  You never have to stand in line for anything and you never have to worry about buying things because people want to give you gifts.  However, the very things you would like to keep like money, property and jewels, you must leave behind.  Unless you can think of a way to hide them somewhere until you are out of office.

Then there are the relatives.  It would really be best if Presidents didn’t have relatives.  They have been a horrible embarrassment to several presidents in recent years.  At the swearing-in ceremony, the President should officially renounce family and declare himself free of all supporters and friends for the duration of his term in office.

Everyone has complained for a year about political commercials, repetitive speeches and slanderous comments of entertainers – don’t think for a moment that’s over.  I wonder if it might be a good idea to consider some other kind of a selection process and a new kind of leader.  I thought a King would make a refreshing change.

For one thing, a King would save us a lot of political aggravation.  You only have to decide on a King once and then you never have to think about the leadership conundrum again.  His descendants take over the job when he either dies or gets fed up with being royal and we’d all live happily ever after.

The new regime would not require major changes.  The King would live in the White House except it would have to be renovated to have towers sand battlements and other things all palaces must have.  And a new name.  Washington Palace has possibilities.  And, new dress uniforms with lots of gold braid and maybe red capes.  Gold helmets would be a nice touch.  I have always thought plumes on helmets were just splendid.

Bring back the mounted guardsmen with polished saddles and boots and silver swords.  Have an American changing of the guard with different branches of the armed service with tasteful uniforms in alternative color combinations take turns guarding the King.  What a glorious tourist attraction that would be!  Think of the tourist dollars! Maybe enough to get us out of the recession.

There are other things to lure tourists and their dollars to the American Kingdom.  For instance: The Palace Garden party.  Open to the entire world – for a small fee.  The King could bestow titles and medals – at a nominal cost for shipping and handling.  People would pay millions of dollars to be Lord and Lady Swank. What a wonderful new source of revenue!  Just think of all the money rolling into the Treasury.  We could perhaps balance the budget after all – and without higher taxes.  Wait! Better yet – lower taxes.  Or best of all  – no taxes.  I am willing to give it a whirl.

Now that I think about it, Americans miss having royalty.  To make up for that loss we have Kings and Queens of events and festivals to say nothing of every flower, fruit and vegetable under the sun.  We like having contests to choose Queens of Roses, Rice, Cotton, Yams, Peaches and Dill Pickles.

Strange as it may seem, Gov. Huey P. Long was a visionary and ahead of his time.  His motto was prophetic as well as great politics. Remember “Every Man A King?”

Well, at least he got it half right